darkest before the dark

     I apologize in advance as this entry will be more personal than the past few.  Anyone who knows me knows that a lot of the promise of life has drained away lately.  When we were kids we were taught that to be an honest, hard working, good person was enough.  That with a littel elbow grease and a good heart anything is possible, the world opens up,  I don't think I believe that. 
     I'm an honest person, I'm a hardworking person, a good person.  It doesn't matter.  No amount of honesty, goodness, or work ethic cant help when things just go wrong, and dont ever stop going wrong.  When you cant swim against the tide anymore, and you cant see in the darkness, nothing can help you.  None of your friends, or family or anyone you or they know can fix whats wrong.  What good is goodness?  What good is honesty?  These things that we are make a difference do nothing.  The world eats you up and all the goodness honesty and hard work wont ever stop the chewing.